Good afternoon everyone;
Last two posts we were talking about my brilliant ideas for employment. Of the two ( Funeral Preacher and Appointment Security Services) I am going with Funeral Preacher. Be watching for my listing in the yellow pages. Now, let's move on...
I have noticed almost everywhere I go all people can talk about is "DUCK DYNASTY." This show is the hottest thing to come along in a while. So, here is my take on Duck Dynasty. I hope you enjoy!
"Duck Dynasty"
If I am a program executive at NBC, CBS, ABC, or FOX - I have got to be scratching my head about now. I would have to be thinking, "REALLY"?
My first reaction to the show was total confusion! I didn't understand it. I tried to find a plot and understand the story line. I tried to figure out what the underlying message was. I looked for characters to identify with and relate to. I felt frustrated thinking I missed what the writers were trying to convey. I wanted to understand it. Was this a comedy, a drama, a true story based on actual events?? I just didn't get it.
My second reaction was this is total stupid! Who are these people? How did THEY get on TV? What idiots thought this would make good entertainment? I had questions... Why are people interested in a bunch of Louisiana, back woods red-necks who don't shave? Who smell? Who will eat just about anything? Who make duck calls? I thought this is STUPID! I can't believe I am actually watching this. I am a very busy person. I have important things to attend to. And here I am watching a bunch of ZZ TOP look-alikes make duck calls. I must be crazy!
My third reaction was this is total hilarity! HILARIOUS! I am laughing out loud at this show. The more I watch, the more I am liking it. Before I know it... I am making plans to watch it! We are hurrying home from church on Wednesday night to catch it. My son is recording the episodes. Listen, I am watching re-runs of the show and laughing like it's the first time I have ever seen it! Not only am I watching it all the time... I am going around saying "JACK." I have picked up SI ROBERTSON's catch phrase. What's next... a long beard and a bandana? Heaven help me!
If you haven't watched this show... listen to me, watch it! Don't try and figure it out. Turn your brain off.
Just enjoy 30 minutes of side splitting, mind numbing, red-neck, hilarity. You will laugh, I promise. " Hey, I'm talkin' 'bout laughin' JACK!
Thanks and we'll talk more later.
Lanny Ray
Monday, March 18, 2013
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Appointment Security Services ( A.S.S.)
Hello everyone;
In the past two blogs we have been talking about "Funeral Preachers" and "Pall Bearers" as a profession. Several of you have said the "Funeral Preacher" idea was spot on. I thank you for the kind support and encouragement. I would be a natural for this position. I just have to figure out how to package and sell the idea.
If the "Funeral Preacher" job doesn't pan out - I do have another idea. I have always heard you shouldn't put all your eggs in on basket. ( I don't want all my eggs in one basket...if I ever manage to get any eggs that is.) So, if I can't preach funerals, please tell me what you think of this idea:
"Appointment Security Services" ( A.S.S.)
What is "A.S.S." you ask? "A.S.S." is a professional appointment security service founded in 2013 by Lanny Ray Belcher. Here is how it works:
Let's say you are having a furniture delivery to your home. They give you a four hour window within which your furniture will be delivered. You are a busy professional and can't afford to miss four hours of work waiting around for furniture. You pick up the phone and call "A.S.S." An A.S.S. representative takes your information and schedules an appointment to be at your home to receive the furniture delivery. Boom! It's done and you don't miss a whole afternoon from work.
There are all kinds of situations where you might need A.S.S. I dare say not a week or two goes by that you couldn't benefit from A.S.S.
Think about how frustrating it is to have be subjected to some delivery schedule that disrupts your day. The plummer is coming by, but can't get to you until 2:30 in the afternoon next Wed. You happen to have a Dr.s appointment and can't be there to let him in...what do you do? Call A.S.S.! An A.S.S. representative shows up 30 minutes prior, let's the plummer in, watches him to ensure he doesn't steal anything, signs the paperwork, gives him a check, makes sure the work is done properly, and locks up when he leaves. How awesome is that?
There are tons of applications. You are having an appliance delivered. Satellite installed. New carpet laid. The painter is coming. Orkin is coming to spray. You name it! The list is endless.
You never have to be inconvenienced again. You never have to worry about missing work for a scheduled home appointment. A.S.S. is there for you. A.S.S. gives you the peace of mind knowing that a responsible professional is at your home watching over your most valued asset when you can't be there.
Vacations are no longer a problem. And forget about those expensive petting sitting kennels. A.S.S has you covered.
A.S.S. offers other services like taking the car in for service. An A.S.S. representative will take your car in, wait for the repair to be completed, and then deliver your car to your home or office. Do you need the dry cleaning taken or picked up? At A.S.S., we are happy to help.
At A.S.S., we specialize in making your life easier and freeing up your schedule. Your time is far to valueable to waste it sitting around. Call A.S.S today for a FREE consultation!
Thanks and we'll talk more later;
Lanny Ray
In the past two blogs we have been talking about "Funeral Preachers" and "Pall Bearers" as a profession. Several of you have said the "Funeral Preacher" idea was spot on. I thank you for the kind support and encouragement. I would be a natural for this position. I just have to figure out how to package and sell the idea.
If the "Funeral Preacher" job doesn't pan out - I do have another idea. I have always heard you shouldn't put all your eggs in on basket. ( I don't want all my eggs in one basket...if I ever manage to get any eggs that is.) So, if I can't preach funerals, please tell me what you think of this idea:
"Appointment Security Services" ( A.S.S.)
What is "A.S.S." you ask? "A.S.S." is a professional appointment security service founded in 2013 by Lanny Ray Belcher. Here is how it works:
Let's say you are having a furniture delivery to your home. They give you a four hour window within which your furniture will be delivered. You are a busy professional and can't afford to miss four hours of work waiting around for furniture. You pick up the phone and call "A.S.S." An A.S.S. representative takes your information and schedules an appointment to be at your home to receive the furniture delivery. Boom! It's done and you don't miss a whole afternoon from work.
There are all kinds of situations where you might need A.S.S. I dare say not a week or two goes by that you couldn't benefit from A.S.S.
Think about how frustrating it is to have be subjected to some delivery schedule that disrupts your day. The plummer is coming by, but can't get to you until 2:30 in the afternoon next Wed. You happen to have a Dr.s appointment and can't be there to let him in...what do you do? Call A.S.S.! An A.S.S. representative shows up 30 minutes prior, let's the plummer in, watches him to ensure he doesn't steal anything, signs the paperwork, gives him a check, makes sure the work is done properly, and locks up when he leaves. How awesome is that?
There are tons of applications. You are having an appliance delivered. Satellite installed. New carpet laid. The painter is coming. Orkin is coming to spray. You name it! The list is endless.
You never have to be inconvenienced again. You never have to worry about missing work for a scheduled home appointment. A.S.S. is there for you. A.S.S. gives you the peace of mind knowing that a responsible professional is at your home watching over your most valued asset when you can't be there.
Vacations are no longer a problem. And forget about those expensive petting sitting kennels. A.S.S has you covered.
A.S.S. offers other services like taking the car in for service. An A.S.S. representative will take your car in, wait for the repair to be completed, and then deliver your car to your home or office. Do you need the dry cleaning taken or picked up? At A.S.S., we are happy to help.
At A.S.S., we specialize in making your life easier and freeing up your schedule. Your time is far to valueable to waste it sitting around. Call A.S.S today for a FREE consultation!
Thanks and we'll talk more later;
Lanny Ray
Thursday, February 7, 2013
The Pall Bearer
Hello Everyone!
Ready for the Funeral Preacher part two? I have had several people tell me I should seriously pursue this. Some preacher buddies have wanted in on it. One even asked to be my assistant! Over lunch recently my cousin Susan ( the woman who talked me into this BLOG ) gave me some advice on how to get started. My Aunt Cherry wanted in by being a professional mourner! Seems there is some substance to my idea.
Not everyone can be The Funeral Preacher. But don't despair - there is still a possible option...
"The Pall Bearer"
These guys are the "VIP's" at the funeral! They get special recognition before, during and after the funeral. They are really celebrities at this event.
Think about the perks: You get your name in the paper. You get your name in the funeral bulletin. You get front row reserved seating. You get a flower for your lapel. You get preferred parking. Man, they treat Pall Bearers like royalty! It's the job to have if you enjoy being in the spotlight!
It seems the family is always one short. Ever notice that? The Head Pall Bearer goes around with a pencil and paper trying to recruit someone. Usually there are a few guys who quickly come to mind. The Head Pall Bearer knows what he's looking for... a Big Ole Boy! If you have ever been a Pall Bearer you will agree with me - it helps when you've got a Big Ole Boy!
Young guys make good Pall Bearers. Teen agers are great candidates. For some it's the only time you will ever see them in a tie - or do anything even resembling work.
I have never seen a woman Pall Bearer. It seems that equal rights activists are content to leave this alone. I think women should be treated equal as men. We shouldn't deny them their right to be a Pall Bearer.
The funeral home should have one Pall Bearer on staff. Just in case something happens. The staff Pall Bearer could be professionally trained. The Pall Bearers need instruction. He could be the boss. The Funeral Director has to be there telling the Pall Bearers what to do - so why not have a professional actually doing it. Have a man on the job that knows what he's doing. Many of these Pall Bearers have never done it before - they don't have a clue. Imagine the peace of mind the Pall Bearers would have knowing there is a professional on the job - right there with them.
Listen, why leave the body in the hands of un-trained amateurs. The funeral home should step it up a notch by hiring a professional Pall Bearer. Its a glamorous job. Other than the dead guy - they are the star of the show. The Funeral Preacher - and The Pall Bearer...what a great package!
Thanks and we'll talk more later,
Lanny Ray
Ready for the Funeral Preacher part two? I have had several people tell me I should seriously pursue this. Some preacher buddies have wanted in on it. One even asked to be my assistant! Over lunch recently my cousin Susan ( the woman who talked me into this BLOG ) gave me some advice on how to get started. My Aunt Cherry wanted in by being a professional mourner! Seems there is some substance to my idea.
Not everyone can be The Funeral Preacher. But don't despair - there is still a possible option...
"The Pall Bearer"
These guys are the "VIP's" at the funeral! They get special recognition before, during and after the funeral. They are really celebrities at this event.
Think about the perks: You get your name in the paper. You get your name in the funeral bulletin. You get front row reserved seating. You get a flower for your lapel. You get preferred parking. Man, they treat Pall Bearers like royalty! It's the job to have if you enjoy being in the spotlight!
It seems the family is always one short. Ever notice that? The Head Pall Bearer goes around with a pencil and paper trying to recruit someone. Usually there are a few guys who quickly come to mind. The Head Pall Bearer knows what he's looking for... a Big Ole Boy! If you have ever been a Pall Bearer you will agree with me - it helps when you've got a Big Ole Boy!
Young guys make good Pall Bearers. Teen agers are great candidates. For some it's the only time you will ever see them in a tie - or do anything even resembling work.
I have never seen a woman Pall Bearer. It seems that equal rights activists are content to leave this alone. I think women should be treated equal as men. We shouldn't deny them their right to be a Pall Bearer.
The funeral home should have one Pall Bearer on staff. Just in case something happens. The staff Pall Bearer could be professionally trained. The Pall Bearers need instruction. He could be the boss. The Funeral Director has to be there telling the Pall Bearers what to do - so why not have a professional actually doing it. Have a man on the job that knows what he's doing. Many of these Pall Bearers have never done it before - they don't have a clue. Imagine the peace of mind the Pall Bearers would have knowing there is a professional on the job - right there with them.
Listen, why leave the body in the hands of un-trained amateurs. The funeral home should step it up a notch by hiring a professional Pall Bearer. Its a glamorous job. Other than the dead guy - they are the star of the show. The Funeral Preacher - and The Pall Bearer...what a great package!
Thanks and we'll talk more later,
Lanny Ray
Monday, January 28, 2013
The Funeral Preacher
Hello Everyone!
Guess what...? The BLOG is changing yet again! I have decided NOT to do the devotional. It's not what Ray's Ramblings was meant to be. I am sticking with my original idea - to write about things I encounter in everyday life.
These are my "Ramblings"... not a devotional. I am still trying to figure out this whole BLOGGING thing and where I fit. Please be patient with me. I will eventually get this. It's frustrating having all this genius! I struggle with finding the best method to communicate it.
When it's all said and done, I want people to laugh and say, "Yes, I can relate." "I have experienced that - but never had the nerve to say it." I hope that happens. We'll see...
"The Funeral Preacher"
I am going to start a career in the funeral business. I am going to be the "Funeral Preacher." I have discovered a REAL need!
I am going to hire myself out to the local funeral homes. I will be the staff "Funeral Preacher." As part of the package the funeral home offers - they can now offer a new service, "Funeral Preacher."
The funeral home has been missing this all important piece for way too long. They have thought of everything except the "Funeral Preacher." They put the burden on the family to find their own funeral preacher. Well, no more. Families can rest at ease knowing they have the "Funeral Preacher."
How many times does this happen? The family has made all the arrangements - but they have no preacher. They turn to the funeral director for help and he doesn't know what to say. Now, he can say, we have a funeral preacher on staff. He can sell it as part of the pre-need package. What a relief! This family is going to think this funeral home is awesome! They are going to recommend them to all their friends.
Just think about all the people who are out of church and have no pastor. Boom! They are now covered. This is a very large segment of the population. It seems to me, in this day and time, you would have an ever growing customer base. People drop out of church every week. But they still need a "Funeral Preacher."
I even have the advertising slogan for the funeral homes... "No Preacher - No Problem, Now Offering The Funeral Preacher." Catchy, don't ya think?
Maybe the phone book people will add the category of "Funeral Preacher" in the yellow pages. Anyone have any ideas for marketing "Funeral Preacher" on social media? ( Susan?)
They say "word of mouth" is the best advertising. So, tell all your friends about the "Funeral Preacher." I will also sing. But that will cost extra.
Thanks and we'll talk more later,
Lanny Ray
Guess what...? The BLOG is changing yet again! I have decided NOT to do the devotional. It's not what Ray's Ramblings was meant to be. I am sticking with my original idea - to write about things I encounter in everyday life.
These are my "Ramblings"... not a devotional. I am still trying to figure out this whole BLOGGING thing and where I fit. Please be patient with me. I will eventually get this. It's frustrating having all this genius! I struggle with finding the best method to communicate it.
When it's all said and done, I want people to laugh and say, "Yes, I can relate." "I have experienced that - but never had the nerve to say it." I hope that happens. We'll see...
"The Funeral Preacher"
I am going to start a career in the funeral business. I am going to be the "Funeral Preacher." I have discovered a REAL need!
I am going to hire myself out to the local funeral homes. I will be the staff "Funeral Preacher." As part of the package the funeral home offers - they can now offer a new service, "Funeral Preacher."
The funeral home has been missing this all important piece for way too long. They have thought of everything except the "Funeral Preacher." They put the burden on the family to find their own funeral preacher. Well, no more. Families can rest at ease knowing they have the "Funeral Preacher."
How many times does this happen? The family has made all the arrangements - but they have no preacher. They turn to the funeral director for help and he doesn't know what to say. Now, he can say, we have a funeral preacher on staff. He can sell it as part of the pre-need package. What a relief! This family is going to think this funeral home is awesome! They are going to recommend them to all their friends.
Just think about all the people who are out of church and have no pastor. Boom! They are now covered. This is a very large segment of the population. It seems to me, in this day and time, you would have an ever growing customer base. People drop out of church every week. But they still need a "Funeral Preacher."
I even have the advertising slogan for the funeral homes... "No Preacher - No Problem, Now Offering The Funeral Preacher." Catchy, don't ya think?
Maybe the phone book people will add the category of "Funeral Preacher" in the yellow pages. Anyone have any ideas for marketing "Funeral Preacher" on social media? ( Susan?)
They say "word of mouth" is the best advertising. So, tell all your friends about the "Funeral Preacher." I will also sing. But that will cost extra.
Thanks and we'll talk more later,
Lanny Ray
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