Hello Everyone!
Ready for the Funeral Preacher part two? I have had several people tell me I should seriously pursue this. Some preacher buddies have wanted in on it. One even asked to be my assistant! Over lunch recently my cousin Susan ( the woman who talked me into this BLOG ) gave me some advice on how to get started. My Aunt Cherry wanted in by being a professional mourner! Seems there is some substance to my idea.
Not everyone can be The Funeral Preacher. But don't despair - there is still a possible option...
"The Pall Bearer"
These guys are the "VIP's" at the funeral! They get special recognition before, during and after the funeral. They are really celebrities at this event.
Think about the perks: You get your name in the paper. You get your name in the funeral bulletin. You get front row reserved seating. You get a flower for your lapel. You get preferred parking. Man, they treat Pall Bearers like royalty! It's the job to have if you enjoy being in the spotlight!
It seems the family is always one short. Ever notice that? The Head Pall Bearer goes around with a pencil and paper trying to recruit someone. Usually there are a few guys who quickly come to mind. The Head Pall Bearer knows what he's looking for... a Big Ole Boy! If you have ever been a Pall Bearer you will agree with me - it helps when you've got a Big Ole Boy!
Young guys make good Pall Bearers. Teen agers are great candidates. For some it's the only time you will ever see them in a tie - or do anything even resembling work.
I have never seen a woman Pall Bearer. It seems that equal rights activists are content to leave this alone. I think women should be treated equal as men. We shouldn't deny them their right to be a Pall Bearer.
The funeral home should have one Pall Bearer on staff. Just in case something happens. The staff Pall Bearer could be professionally trained. The Pall Bearers need instruction. He could be the boss. The Funeral Director has to be there telling the Pall Bearers what to do - so why not have a professional actually doing it. Have a man on the job that knows what he's doing. Many of these Pall Bearers have never done it before - they don't have a clue. Imagine the peace of mind the Pall Bearers would have knowing there is a professional on the job - right there with them.
Listen, why leave the body in the hands of un-trained amateurs. The funeral home should step it up a notch by hiring a professional Pall Bearer. Its a glamorous job. Other than the dead guy - they are the star of the show. The Funeral Preacher - and The Pall Bearer...what a great package!
Thanks and we'll talk more later,
Lanny Ray
